New Years eve carries so many different feelings for people. For some it is a reason to get dressed up and celebrate with drinks and music and excitement. For others it is a time of quiet reflection and a resolution to do it differently this year. Still for others it is a time of pain… pain of letting go of something or someone. The idea of going on is painful.
In recent weeks I have been up close and personal with the reality and the idea of loss… Each loss so unique in its own pain. I sit here on the cusp of the new year remembering people who have added such beauty and love to my life who are no longer there. I know that those same people have loved ones closer to themselves than me. But the reality of the impact of the loss of them is a consideration tonight. I ask myself: Did I make enough time for the important things in life – friends, family, health, fun, faith, music? Did I make enough time to let important people know how much they mean to me?
While I am certain that the new year is a fresh start for some, it is also a bittersweet moment of letting go of the past year and sometimes that is a frightening prospect. Letting go – of the people we have lost, facing a new year without them… letting go of the expectations that we had for ourselves that perhaps we didn’t meet… letting go of the guilt… the anger… the unforgiveness – all can be a painful process.
If I am honest, I never feel I have made enough time for any of the above. BUT… last year, I did a “word of the year” and it was ‘Align.” I promised myself that my time spent would be in “alignment” with important things in my life. The most important thing over the past year has been aligning with my faith. From that everything else flowed. There is peace in knowing that I did meet that expectation for myself. However, again in honesty, I feel that I was still somehow not doing enough. Letting go, for me, means choosing to forgive myself for falling short of my expectations for myself. and going on, for me, means choosing to do it better this year. AGAIN.
So this year my word of the year is “discipline.” It’s not enough for me to do things that align with my ideals and goals. It’s more important now to be consistent in acting out those things on a daily basis. Going forward to the new year for me means: Giving up on the tired old self-criticisms which only serve to keep me frozen in fear. Going on means: Giving time, giving love, giving forgiveness, giving hope, giving whatever it is in the moment that I actually have to give. I have journaled what that looks like specifically for me. Perhaps you can do the same thing. Reflect on the things you want to let go of and let the momentum move you forward to the new year… letting go of what no longer serves you and going on with a new and renewed purpose. Happy New Year.